Everybody Loves Enji
by Minja
Summary: And I do mean EVERYONE! *rated Pg13 for slahy content and kissing.* Just Imagine Enji singing "I'm too sexy" And you'll be just fine.....{"I'm too sexy for my vest.."}


"Come back here!" Enji pulled Eponine back for one small kiss before she yanked away, smiling.  
  
"Enjolras, I have to go!..." She let her sentence trail off and tilted her head, smiling at him. Nodding, he waved as she bowed out of sight into the shadows.   
  
Seconds later Marius and Grantaire came up to where the infamous leader stood in the shadows. Marius slapped his big brother's shoulder and smiled.  
  
"Got any plans for world domination yet?" Enjolras scoffed.  
  
"Marius, I'd at least think you would understand that I'm not trying to take over the world-" Grantaire interrupted him.  
  
"Yeah, Marius. He's only trying to take over a France...." Enji frowned indignantly.  
  
"Grantaire, that's enough.." Laughing, Marius butted in.  
  
"Oh lighten up, Enjolras! Enjoy life! We survived the barricade for a reason, right? It wasn't to be grouchy. Or angry. Or bored. Or....or....., help me out on this, Grantaire..."  
  
"Or sober!" Marius smacked his forehead. Enjolras smiled.  
  
"You should have seen that coming." He remarked, putting his two cents in.  
  
"I know.."  
  
"You're a real idiot-boy, you know that, right?" Marius swatted at Enji. Grantaire stepped in.  
  
"Lay off the boy, Enjolras. You know he isn't as old as us. Can't forget it all..." Grantaire stared at Marius and motioned at his small frame. "Can't hold his whiskey either. Yet.." Grantaire motioned for Enji's elbow and they linked arms. "However, we can. A pint. On me."  
  
"Wha-?" Marius stared dumbfounded at them as they moved off without him, and he scrambled to follow.  
  
**************  
"Enji?" Cosette ran her fingers through his hair as they sat under the stars.  
  
"'Sette?"  
  
"Do you love me?" Enji kissed Cosette deeply, who sighed.  
  
"Course I do, sweetheart."  
  
"Good. I'm glad." Cosette snuggled deeper in his arms. Suddenly, he heard a noise coming from within the bushes near them. Quickly, he stood up and motioned for Cosette to stay down. "What is it?" she whispered, fearfully.   
  
"Let me check. I'll be back soon." And with that, he slunk off into the darkness to try to find the cause of the noise. He poked his head into the bush and smiled.   
  
"Enjolras, you told me to meet you here."  
  
"Oh course, Javvi, love." Javert stood up and dusted off.  
  
"I thought you weren't gonna come."  
  
"But I did." Enji leaned down and kissed Javert. He pulled back quickly.  
  
"I have to go for a minute. But I'll be back, I promise."  
  
Enjolras walked the long way back to Cosette who was still waiting. She gave a yelp and jumped into his arms.  
  
"Oh Enji, I was so scared..." He tried to calm her down, but she cried hysterically. "I was so worried!"  
  
Suddenly, Eponine ran out and saw Enjolras in Cosette's arms.  
  
"You!" 'Ponine pointed at Cosette and Enji and screamed in fury. Javert ran from the bushes and caught the sight of the two together as well.  
  
"Nooooooooo!!!!!!!" And with that, Javert broke down crying. Eponine fell down beside Javert and began to cry. Suddenly, Cosette realized what was going on and slapped Enjolras who stumbled back into the arms of.........Grantaire.  
  
"I bought you whiskey!" And he joined the others in crying over their beloved. Meanwhile, Enji was feeling very uncomfortable with this situation, and was about to run when he ran into Gavroche. (don't worry, its not what you think.) Gavroche took one look at Eponine and kicked Enji repeatedly in the leg.  
  
"You made my sissy cry!" And then he ran off.   
  
"Enji? What is going on here?" Marius ran and noticed all four lovers on the ground, weeping.  
  
"Um...."  
  
"He's been using us all!" Eponine shrieked.  
  
"I bought him whiskey!"   
  
"I bought him snuff!"  
  
"I slept with him!" Cosette chimed in. Eponine gave her a look.  
  
"Um..hello? We all did. That doesn't make you special." Cosette frowned.  
  
"Oh..." And she cried some more.  
  
"Enji! How could you?" Marius yelped. Eponine looked at him shocked.   
  
"You too?" He shuddered.  
  
"No! That would be incest. We live in France, not Tennessee, remember?" Eponine nodded.  
  
"Sorry. I was confused."  
  
"So'aky. I just though he would stick with people that aren't old enough to be his father..."  
  
"Hey! I resent that!" Javert bellowed.  
  
"Deal. Besides, Enji, I thought you were only with Grantaire...." Grantaire blew his nose.  
  
"So did I.."  
  
"And I thought he was only with me."  
  
"And with me."  
  
"And me."  
  
"And me." Boomed a voice coming from behind another bush.  
  
"Dad?!" Eponine yelped.  
  
"Eponine?! Oh my God!"  
  
Javert gave him an odd look. "I thought you didn't believe in God." Thenardier considered this.  
  
"Sorry. Guess a more appropriate response would be hot damn." Javert nodded.  
  
"Hold it!" Marius said holding his hands up. "Exactly who all have you been screwing, Bro?" Enji's face turned bright red. Marius nodded. "Okay! Everyone come out from the bushes!"  
  
Half of Paris migrated out of the surrounding area. Joly, Courfeyrac, and others were there. Several lovely ladies, some other of the Thenardier's children, and basically everyone in the musical except Marius, Gavroche, and Fantine admitted to a relationship of some sort with Enji. And Fantine for the simple matter that she was dead.  
  
"Oh well...." Eponine sighed. She could feel a corny ending coming on.  
  
"What?" groaned Cosette.  
  
"We already knew it, now we have proof..."  
  
"What?" Javert inquired.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"She was gonna say 'Everyone loves Enji' , you idiots!" Marius screamed. Javert and Cosette looked at each other.  
  
"Riiiiiiight..."   
  
***********  
  
The next morning, Simultaneously, Cosette and Javert woke up on different sides of town.  
  
"Now I get it!"  
  
  
  



End file.
